THE BIRTH OF A MOTHER
I had a mission call to serve in Bucharest Romania. Each night that brought me closer to May 16th, my departure date, my dreams carried me into a world where I was taking care of a baby girl. The dream would involve me living in the single young adult world and realizing I had to start my life with this child somewhere else. Sometimes the dream would take place in an apartment full of roommates who were mad at the baby's crying, and sometimes it would be in Romania as a missionary walking the streets with a pack of missionary supplies on my back and a baby in my arms. The one constant in every dream was my reaction. I knew exactly what I needed to do and I didn't hesitate, I began a new life with her.
Just weeks before May 16th came I unexpectedly fell in love, and instead of leaving for Romania I got engaged and then married. We had a five year wait plan for having children. One and a half months later I was pregnant. As shocking as it was I wasn't surprised. This child had been trying to send me a message long before it was even a possibility.
The pregnancy ended up being high risk, which led to an induced labor that lasted 36 hours and turned into an emergency c-section.
I lay there on the thin white table with Robert holding my left hand and my mother holding my right. A white sheet rose up from my ribs blocking my view from the surgery. I cranked my head up and to the side so I could see my husband. I was scared. Even though his skin was pasty white and I could hear him panting behind his little mask he still managed to encourage and convince me everything would be OK. Both of us waited like that, carrying out our panting panic attacks, while we listened to the doctor announce the details of her new pregnancy to the surgery team, and watched my mother ooh and ah at all the intricate details of how someone might go about cutting her grandchild out of her daughter's uterus.
A weight lifted and the doctor laughed, "You have a beautiful little red headed girl!" I closed my eyes and tried to picture her, also wondering how a dark brunette and a light brunette could make a red. I felt a sudden ache in my chest for her and for the first time wished I could see behind the curtain. I could feel her though. She felt like a ball of energy in the center of the room spreading her strength out further and further. Then the feeling came in through my heart and wrapped itself around my body. A warm bright light poured through my veins and I felt everything inside me change into something greater and more powerful that I could ever become on my own. I became a mother.
What a sweet story! Although it took us 7 years before we had our first baby, I can relate to the first thing you heard the doctor say because mine said: "You have a red-headed boy!" and we are also both brunettes - definitely didn't expect that!
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me cry! Being a mom is by far the best thing I have ever done.
ReplyDeleteAnd we love little Natti!!
ReplyDeleteWow, wonderful, thank you so much for featuring my work! I feel so honored. What a lovely story and a lovely collection of mama images. Have a great day and thank you again.
ReplyDeleteSincerely, Katie m. Berggren
Thank you so much for featuring my art! I love all the pieces you have chosen on this feature and was very moved by your post! Being a mum is the most wonderful gift ever!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for including my art! Sascalia xxx
I remember the day my beautiful little redhead entered my life. She was also born c-section and I recall the doctor telling me that I was in too much pain and he was going to put me out. I begged him not to do that til I could see her and know she was OK. The last thing I remembered was this beautiful little person with swirly tufts of wet bright red hair looking at me. That beautiful little redhead is Dazzlejag (featured above) and a true joy in my life. Thank you for including her in your life....I love to share! Peggy Alexander
ReplyDeleteWonderful story! I had no idea Natalie was that eager to get here!
ReplyDeleteI love your blogs, they are so inspiring. I love to read them and when I do, I can just imagine everything you say. It's beautiful!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, fabulous art! Beautiful, fabulous story! Rosie said it well, we all do love Natti. I remember Robert being so overwhelmed by the experience. A time to love in its sweetest sense.
ReplyDeletebeautiful post! thanks for including me!!
ReplyDeleteso beautiful autumn. I love your blog
ReplyDeleteI am Jordan's sister. I found your blog through hers. I just wanted to say I loved your story. What a beautiful story for your daughter to hear.
ReplyDelete